Why Am I Doing This?

I have felt the Lord leading me to start a blog for quite some time now.  But until now, it has just been a gentle nudge–something fairly easy to ignore.  Oh, I tossed around possible blog names, whether or not I wanted to write under an assumed name to keep my anonymity, which hosting service to use, and so many other uncertainties that needed answers.  The (perceived) sheer enormity of figuring it all out, along with the commitment required to regularly post on a blog, truthfully overwhelmed me.  So, in my usual, procrastinating way, I kept putting it off.

But the Holy Spirit kept speaking to me even through my procrastination (Thank You, Lord!), giving me little insights and revelations.  And each time He did, I thought, “I need to write about this,” or “I need to share this,” and sometimes, “There is someone out there who needs to hear this.”  Even still, I remained frozen–unable to get myself to move toward embarking on this blog adventure.  Self-doubt chimed in, too, playing no small part in my procrastination:  “maybe I am deluding myself about having something worthwhile to say;” “what if I divulge too much ‘personal’ stuff;” “what if I’m not hearing correctly,” etc.

However, the Holy Spirit has gotten more persistent, and the nudges much harder to ignore. Within the past week and a half, I have felt absolutely compelled to “get the ball rolling,” so to speak.  So I took some small steps toward what I know God wants me to do. I met with a God-smart friend who has experience with blogs to grab some pointers and insight.  Other God-believing friends encouraged me during our regular monthly dinner. I checked out WordPress.com, and the Holy Spirit helped me find a wonderful blog name, a pen name under which to write, and a “theme” from WordPress with which to present my thoughts and the lessons the Holy Spirit is teaching me.  And I started writing, and it was okay–not wonderful, but not bad either. Then I hit a roadblock.  I couldn’t get my first post quite where it needed to be–something was missing and I couldn’t figure out just what the problem was or where I needed to go with it.

But our God is FAITHFUL, and if He asks us to do something, you had better believe He will give us just what we need when we need it!  As I was reading this morning, I discovered Joyce Meyer’s daily devotional titled “No Excuses.”  (How is that for perfect timing?!)  Here is what she says in it:

And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, The Lord is with you, you mighty man of [fearless] courage.
—Judges 6:12

In the book of Judges, God decided to work through a man named Gideon to deliver the Israelites from captivity. But when the angel came to call Gideon, Gideon began rehearsing a list of his inabilities, including reasons why he thought he could not do what God was calling him to do.

In Judges 6:14 God says, Have I not sent you? In other words, “Would I ask you to do something I haven’t equipped you to do?”  . . .

Stop thinking of excuses or things to complain about—It’s too hard; I’ve never done this before; this isn’t what I had planned; I don’t know how; I’m too old/young; I don’t feel like it; I’m afraid—and start doing what God is telling you to do.

Haha! Boy, did that just smack me in the face–in a good way, of course.  Now the crazy, amazing God-thing in all of this today is this:  for some reason (i.e., God), I have been reading back and forth between the story of Gideon and other parts of the Bible for the past week or so.  God had planted in me a curiosity to take a closer look at Gideon during this time.  I wasn’t sure why Gideon, or why now.  Yet I knew I needed to read and think on him and his story.  And it took reading Joyce Meyer’s daily devotional today for me to figure out why and to tie it all together.

My take on all this:  Stop making excuses, and just do what God says to do!!!  He is not going to ask us to do something without first equipping us!  Now, I have “known” this all along; I really have!  (But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will boast in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.–2 Corinthians 12:9 MEV)  But I didn’t really KNOW this for me personally, for this situation, until I saw God’s hand in it and how He tied it all together in a neat little Gideon bundle and handed it to me.  Wow, am I ever grateful that He never gives up on us, and will meet us where we are!

So . . . here it is.  My first blog post. There is no huge, earth-shattering information in it.  It is just a brief story of my evolution (to this point) as a blogger, and how God works in my life, and can work in yours.  I am sure that I will continue to evolve and improve as the Holy Spirit works in me and through me.  (And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.–Philippians 1:6  NLT)  And I am sure that my blog will also.

I hope you will stick with me.  If I have learned anything through this experience so far, it is this:  when God wants you to do something, no matter how difficult or ridiculous it seems, He will provide a way.  He will give you people in your life to inform you and encourage you.  He will lovingly urge you on.  And He will faithfully equip you for the journey.

What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.  This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.–1 Corinthians 2:12-13  NIV


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